Utaban May 29, 2003 Hosts: Ishibashi "Taka-san" Takaaki (comedian/entertainer)       and Nakai Masahiro (leader of Johnny's idol group SMAP) [Note: This is a simplified and partially abridged version of the V6 segments on the May 29, 2003 episode of the TBS music program Utaban. Everything on this page, including the mistakes, belong entirely to Mina-P. All actions and comments from myself will appear in brackets [ ]. All captions printed on the screen during the show will be indicated by parentheses ( ). Also, keep in mind that, like V6, host Nakai-kun is also a Johnny's.] Nakai: "Who's the Liar, V6 Sense~!" ("Who's the Liar, V6 Sense") [Everyone claps.] Nakai: Okay, let's get started. Today we asked V6 ToniSen: Right! Nakai: to bring their own V6: Right, we brought them Nakai: personal ba~gs. (Quiz: V6 Sense) (There is only one person who is not holding their personal bag, but a fake bag. Please try to guess that person.) Nakai: But within the group, there's just one person who brought a bag that isn't their own. If Takaaki-san and I can't figure out who the liar is, that is if you are able to trick us, we have a really great prize for you... (Fuji Spring Water, One Year's Supply) Dandy Sakano: [drinking] It's Spring Water. [dramatic silent laughter] [suddenly serious] GET's!! [Dandy Sakano is a comedian who jumped in popularity around the time of this Utaban show. He wears flashy outfits and is famous for his catchphrase "GET's!!" He also released a single and performed with Taka-san and Nakai-kun as his backup "GET's Dancers" at the end of the show.] [Everyone laughs.] Nakai: I don't think so. All right, let's get started. (V6 Sense: Who's the Liar?) Taka: So today you just came to TBS with these bags? Nagano: Of course. Inocchi: Of course. Sakamoto: Right. Nagano: We each brought one. Taka: Can I look inside? [starts opening up Sakamoto's bag] Nakai: Now I, um... Taka: Do you, do you always have this Game Boy with you? [pulling a gray Game Boy Advance out of the bag] (Sakamoto-kun's Personal Item 1: Game Boy) Nakai: [incredulous] No way, you play Game Boy!? Sakamoto: Of course. Inocchi: This game, just this game, he's been playing for 3 years. Taka: So what, what is this? Inocchi: He's OBSESSED with it, really. Nagano: This thing, three years ago he got it for his birthday. "You mean, you've STILL got it?" Nakai: But you know, Game Boys now are... No way. [Taka pulls something out of the bag.] Sakamoto: [laughing] Hey, you're looking too much. [grabbing for the object] [Everyone laughs. You can hear V6 pointing and laughing when they recognize it.] Taka: [laughing] Propolis. [Propolis is apparently some sort of miracle, magical antioxident made from stuff bees collect to heal their hive. You can learn more about the product here.] (Sakamoto-kun's Personal Item 2: Health Food Propolis) [Everyone laughs.] Nakai: Wait a second, this is definitely a lie. Why do you have Eagles? [Everyone laughs.] [Nakai holds up an old CD with four young men on the cover. The cover reads "Niji-iro I LOVE YOU" by the "Eagles".] Taka: Why, why, why do you have... Sakamoto: But I love the 80's. [Go laughs hysterically in the background.] (Sakamoto-kun's Personal Item 3: Eagles record) Nakai: Even if you love the 80's, if you don't have a CD player inside... Taka: It's not inside, is it. Nagano: It's good luck, good luck. Nakai: Why are you carrying this? Sakamoto: [looking insulted] They're our daisenpai. [The Eagles appear to be an early Johnny's, or at least Johnny's-like, group. Senpai is a Japanese word that refers to someone who is your respected senior in something, like an upperclassman at school or an older and more experienced co-worker. A daisenpai would be someone who came long before you, and is therefore even more respected than a normal senpai.] Taka: [pulling something else out] Why do you have a 100 yen case? [Taka-san holds up a little plastic container filled with 100 yen coins.] (Sakamoto-kun's Personal Item 4: 100 yen coin case) Sakamoto: This is, here, okay when you go dancing, it's so frustrating having to go into your wallet just to get a drink, right? Inocchi: See, this is pretty smart, huh. Sakamoto: [glancing at Nakai] Right. Nakai: [staring] (Strange...) Nakai: This is really, this is really like a normal old man. Sakamoto: Why's that? This is really mine. Nagano: But it really suits him, right? Before, he only had that weird messanger tote thing... [I'm not entirely sure, but I think Nagano-kun says that Sakamoto-kun only used to have a "baisaaji" bag, "baisaaji" being short for "bicycle messanger". There's your productive English contraction for the day.] [Everyone laughs.] (Around his debut.) Nagano: Really! Nakai: Okay, Nagano-kun's. (Nagano-kun's bag.) Nakai: Now with Nagano, Nagano: Right? Nakai: If you asked about Nagano's bag, it'd always be a rucksack thing... "Now this is Nagano's right here." [Nakai and Taka-san start digging through.] Nakai: This is like a newstand. [Nakai and Taka-san pull out magazines with titles like "Ramen" on them.] Nagano: Now this, ramen and stuff, I usually check them out when I have free time, so I've always got them with me. (Nagano-kun's Personal Item 1: Gourmet books) Inocchi: Haven't you already finished with all of these? Nagano: Um, I've been in about a third of these shops. Taka: Amazing. Nakai: Wooow... Taka: And why've you got Tokyo Mid-day Sports? [Sports newspapers provide two important types of news. They obviously provide sports information, but they are also (strangely enough) the best place to head for entertainment news and gossip. For example, it was a sports newspaper that first broke the news that one of my favorite bands Luna Sea was breaking up.] Nagano: I always get one. I... Nakai & Taka: Why Tokyo Mid-day? (Nagano-kun's Personal Item 2: Tokyo Mid-day Sports Newspaper) Nagano: Well I love motor-sports, so motor-sports... Taka: Ah, so you get Tokyo Mid-Day... Nagano: ...and then I have to figure out what's going on in the entertainment world. [The crew and those watching start laughing. For some reason, so does Inocchi.] (Because Tokyo Mid-Day has entertainment news) Nakai: So you're looking into entertainment, too. Nagano: [smiling brightly] Wha~t? Nakai: And now, Inocchi's. (Inocchi's bag.) Inocchi: Okay. Taka: [slapping Nakai's thigh] This looks like fun~! [pulls out a cassette tape] [singing] "Itsuwa Mariyo"~!! [The tape is Itsuwa Mariyo's "Koibito yo".] [Everyone laughs.] (Inocchi's Personal Item 1: Itsuwa Mariyo cassette) Taka: What taste you have... Nakai: Sing it! Sing it! Sing "Koibito yo"~! One, two... Inocchi: "Koibito yo, soba ni ite..." [That roughly translates to "My love, I am next to you." According to a Japanese website I found, it's a rather famous song... although most people wouldn't know anything beyond the first line that Inocchi sang.] [Everyone giggles.] Nagano: What a nice voice. Nakai: [pulling out a teeny grooming kit] Do you pull your nose hairs and stuff? (Inocchi's Personal Item 2: Scissors for cutting nose hair) Inocchi: Eh? I d- I don't pull them. Nakai: But yours, they really stick out, don't they. [People laugh.] Inocchi: Oh, is that right? Well in the past, Nakai-kun would often come to my place and say, [stage whisper] "Inocchi, nose hair. Inocchi, your nose hairs." Nakai: All the time he, instead of saying it outloud, so that no one would catch on, I'd go like this [points with both hands]. (The "Your Hair is Sticking Out" sign.) Nakai: "Inocchi, it's sticking out." So you'd always know... [Inocchi makes return signs, involving pointing his fingers at his nose and making a digging motion. Everyone laughs a bit.] Inocchi: Can't you dig them out? Taka: [staring at photos] What are these about? [Taka holds two strange pinup shots of Inocchi. One features a suave Inocchi in a bathrobe holding a bird, the other features a wild Inocchi in leather "saving" a "puppy".] [Everyone bursts out laughing.] Inocchi: You carry... Nakai: What are these? Inocchi: You carry around the pictures of yourself looking your coolest, and it'll raise your self-esteem. (Inocchi's Personal Item 3: "Picture of yourself looking your coolest") Nakai: So when you think that you're getting pretty unhip, you look at old videotapes of yourself and think, boy, I'm really cool. [Everyone starts laughing again.] Inocchi: That's right. Nakai: But the thing is these AREN'T cool... Inocchi: That's not true. Taka: I don't get it. Ken: His licence, his licence. Inocchi: Ah, I've got my wallet, too. Nakai: Ah, the one you've got right now is weird, isn't it! Taka: What do you mean, "his licence, his licence"? Nakai: Well, since we've got it here... [Ken giggles in anticipation in the background.] Nakai: They don't teach this kind of stuff. Ken: His licence right now is amazing. Taka: Uwa~ what's that? [Everyone bursts out laughing.] Taka: Hold on... look at that. (Inocchi's Personal Item 4: Driver's licence) [Nakai-kun holds up Inocchi's driver's licence, featuring an amazing yakuza flattop haircut.] [Everyone laughs hard again.] Nakai: It's like Joushima Shigeru II. [Joushima Shigeru is the leader and guitarist for the Johnny's band, Tokio. He also used to wear a strange flattop haircut.] Nakai: What is this... Inocchi: I thought I'd suffer because of this, and yup... [V6 performs "Darling".] Nakai: Okay, then Miyake-kun, put that Ken: Okay. Nakai: up here. Ken: Okay. What should I do with... Taka: What the, you carry something as big as that around? Ken: Yes, I do, I do. Taka: Ah, is that a stretch mat? (Miyake-kun's Personal Item 1: Stretch mat) Ken: Yes. This is so that I can do sit-ups wherever and whenever. Taka: You like doing sit-ups? Ken: I do. Nakai: [laying the mat out] Okay, Miyake-kun, come here and do sit-ups. I want to see how long can you do sit-ups. Shouldn't you do them when you get home? Ken: No, I don't want to do them at home. [People start laughing.] Inocchi: Well, he can't do them if someone isn't watching. [People start laughing hard.] Inocchi: Well, the manager or whoever is always standing like this to one side, watching. Nakai: "You're doing very well. Don't forget to breathe~!" Like this, going, "You can do it~!" Ken: No, it's more like [doing sit-ups] "31, 32..." Inocchi: "Miyake-san, you've passed 30~!" [People laugh.] (Miyake-kun's Personal Item 1: Stretch mat) Taka: Shouldn't your manager hang onto this for you, then? Ken: This is, um, the second one. The first one is all worn out, so I bought a new one... The second one is, well... [Taka lights up as Nakai digs through the bag.] Nagano: So you want to carry it for yourself, don't you. Taka: You're carrying stuff like THIS!? [Nakai pulls gaudy, tassled sneakers out of the bag.] Nakai: What, aren't these dance shoes? [Everyone laughs as Ken shakes his hand.] (Miyake's Personal Item 2: Boxing shoes) Nakai: These are great, aren't they. Ken: No this is, today, I went boxing. Taka: So they're boxing shoes? Ken: Right. Nakai: Okay, now Morita. Taka: [taking out a box] What's in here? Nakai: Sweatpants? [Taka pulls colorful, old-school Adidas training pants out of the box.] Taka: Oh wo~w, look at this. Go: They're like the old type of design. (Morita-kun's Personal Item 1: Sweat pants) Taka: Wow, this brings me back. This is the type they had when we were in middle school. Nakai: Is that right? Those sweats... Taka: How much were these? Go: Well, they were probably close to 10,000 yen. Nakai: Oh, are these collectors type remakes? Go: Right. Taka: HOW COO~~~L. (Close to 10,000 yen training pants) Go: I just really had to have them. Taka: I wonder why these have a box? Inocchi: The ones with boxes are more expensive, aren't they. Nagano: So you can tell them apart. [Nakai pulls a wallet and a wrapped orange out of the bag.] Nakai: Hold on, this is really little. This is all he has. [Everyone laughs.] Taka: That's suspicious. Nakai: Okay, Raincoat. [A little arrow points to Okada-kun in his bright blue jacket.] V6: [laughing a bit] Raincoat. Nakai: Did you just buy this? Okada: Yes. Nakai: Where? Okada: At Miu Miu. [A clothing brand.] Nakai: What is this? [opening up a smaller black bag] Okada: That's a camera. I often take pictures with everyone, the other members or whoever. (Okada-kun's Personal Item 1: Leica M3) Taka: What is that, an M3? [Learn more than I ever wanted to know about the history of the M3 here. You can also see pictures of the cute digital camera version here.] Okada: It's an M3. Nakai: So what is this? [Nakai holds up a super cute, mini version of the M3 camera.] Taka: Whoa, teeny... but it's really cute. (Okada-kun's Personal Item 2: Digital Camera) Okada: That's the M3, digital camera. Nakai: You don't carry a lot, do you. Okada: Not a lot. I don't carry a lot. Inocchi: Okada doesn't carry a lot with him, huh. Nagano: He doesn't carry a lot, huh. Nakai: Why does everyone have to say, "He doesn't carry a lot, huh" "He doesn't carry a lot, huh"? [Everyone laughs.] Nakai: So anyway, that means that there's someone in this group. Nagano: There's one person. Nakai: My feeling is, it's either Nagano-kun or Go-kun. Taka: I feel like it's Morita-kun. [to Okada] What was in your camera case right now? Okada: [reaching for his bag] The camera case is just a normal... [laugh] case... [Everyone laughs a bit.] Nakai: [leaning over to Go] Are you a lying type? Go: No, I'm not. Nakai: So it's not you? I don't have to stick with you? Go: Yeah, it's all right. Taka: [still talking to Okada] Doesn't it get bumped around inside that bag? Okada: I put it in the bag so it doesn't get bumped around. (Big brother Nakai, right now in the middle of negotiations) Nakai: [sliding his chair around to Go] It's not you? It's definitely not you? Go: Right. Nakai: It's not you? If I don't stick with you, I'm okay? Go: Yeah, you're fine. Nakai: If it's really you, I've be in total shock. Go: Right. [Everyone start laughing and telling Nakai to stop.] Ken: You're a TV person, aren't you? Nakai: Huh? Ken: You're a TV person, aren't you. Nakai: [laughing] A TV person? [Everyone laughs.] (What is everyone's guess?) Nakai: Go said it's not him. If after this Go says, "Yeah, it's me," it'd be a real shock for me. [Everyone laughs.] Go: It's all right. Nakai: It'd be a big shock. I wouldn't be able to say "Gakkou e Ikou!". Taka: So for Nakai-kun as a Johnny's senpai... Nakai: So then... Nagano: He's really... Nakai: Nagano maybe? Nagano: [laughing] He's really looking at me. Taka: Right now, I'm thinking maybe I'll go with Yoshida Terumi. [As mentioned on previous Utaban segments, Taka-san made a comment two years previously on Utaban that Sakamoto-kun's short haircut made him look like entertainer Yoshida Terumi. And years later, he still remembers his clever joke.] [Everyone starts laughing.] Sakamoto: This's come up again. I'm not him. [Between laughter, Inocchi and Ken ask him to please not bring that up, at least once.] Nakai: So, Nagano-kun. So then, V6, please give us the right answer. Go! [Drumroll starts and the lights dim. All the V6 members half get up and sit back down a few times before...] Go: [bursting to his feet] [raising one hand] Yes! [V6 cheers loudly.] (Morita-kun's bag was the fake one.) [Nakai immediately attacks Go. Ken jumps between them to pull the overly-shocked Nakai-kun off of Go.] Go: Yes, I was the liar! I lied. [Everyone keeps laughing.] V6: Yeah~! We did it~! Yeay~! Inocchi: The poor guy. Taka: I knew it, he was the liar. That isn't your bag. (Morita-kun doesn't carry a bag.) Ken: Even when we go abroad, he doesn't bring anything. Just a paper bag. Nagano: He brings a paper bag, and there's so little in it that it scatters all over. "You're so strange. You shouldn't use this when you're abroad." Taka: So those sweats weren't yours either? Go: It's a costume. [Everyone laughs. Taka hangs his head in disappointment.] Nakai: Just before when we were secretly talking together. You said you weren't lying. You said, "I'm not the liar." Go: I thought I'd better trick this guy... [Everyone burst out laughing as Nakai bursts to his feet to shove Go around.] Nakai: Don't call me "this guy"~!! You danced behind "this guy"~ [Everyone laughs.] Back | Main