Editor's comments and actions are denoted by [brackets]. Sound effects are written {like this}. (Parenthesis) indicate side notes in the dialogue bubble or the mangaka's note. And finally, italics are thoughts.

[Note: For those who somehow don't know, "ramen" are those cheap noodles that cost less that 20 cents at an expensive supermarket. In Japan, they're know as "Cup Ramen," but I refer to them as we do in the States, as "Cup o' Noodle." All other jokes and puns will be explained as the story progresses.]

In a high school cafeteria, a cute young boy sits at a table with two girls.

Girl: HUH———~ Sumire-chan eats stuff like ramen for dinner! No way! ["-chan" is a cutesy ending for names, used for small children or close friends.]

Sumire: Huh, is that right.

Girl #2: But, for our school's #1 bishounen Shirafuji Sumire-kun to, y'know... (Right!) ["Bishounen" is a term that most everyone probably knows, referring to a beautiful young boy. "-kun" is a ending for young mens' names.]

{sound f/x juu: Sumire sucking on his spoon}

Girl: It doesn't fit your image. It should be, like...

In the girls' imaginations, Sumire is a French aristocratic child, sipping tea before his Duchess-like mother.

Image Sumire: Maman, I do not require milk in my tea.

(He's suddenly blond.)

Image Sumire: Let us surround ourselves with roses.

Image Mother: Ho-ho-ho, this child.

Girl: But if you do something like that...

Still in the girls' imaginations, French Sumire runs off sobbing into the night.

Image Father: Hey.

Image Sumire: NON! Something like curry-flavored udon~! YOU BASTARD! ["Udon" is a thick Japanese noodle.]

(I'm sorry, I'm sorry.)

Sumire: What kind of image is that.

After school, Sumire seethes a bit as he walks down the street.

Sumire: I'm a really normal high schooler. There something wrong with eating ramen!?

Sumire suddenly stops by a store window. The shelves are filled with Cup o' Noodle ramen.

Sumire: With all this talk about ramen, it's given me a craving. Maybe I'll buy it for dinner. Ma'am, I'll take this.

Lady: Oka——y.

Sumire grabs a bowl and leaves.

Lady: My, what a cute kid. (He looks like Domoto Kou-chan.) [This refers to Domoto Kouichi, one half of the insanely popular idol group KinKi Kids. Go KinKi Kids~!]

{sound f/x gata gata: clattering noise}

A noise suddenly grabs the lady's attention and she spins around.

Lady: Ah— PRI~~~NCE~~~

{sound f/x byun: dramatic camera motion}

Lady: KYAA

Back at home, Sumire stretches after a long study session.

Sumire: Mn—— As soon as the new semester starts up, they've got proficiency tests.

{sound f/x koki: Sumire cracking his shoulders}

Sumire: Oh, I hate this. Man~~~

{sound f/x shun: steam rising from a kettle}

Sumire: So anyway, time for a break, time for a break.

Sumire grabs his Cup o' Noodle and cracks it open.

Sumire: It doesn't say anywhere what brand it is. What weird packaging. I guess I put in hot water and wait 3 minutes...

{sound f/x peri: Sumire cracking the lid open slightly}

Sumire: (Hm hm hm~)

{sound f/x kopo: pouring hot water into the ramen bowl}

Voice: Hu...

Sumire sweatdrops and quickly slams the lid to the ramen shut.

{sound f/x patam: Sumire slamming the lid shut}

Sumire: Wh... What's that. Is ramen always like this?

Sumire suddenly jumps as a bowl of instant ramen comes flying through the window.

{sound f/x biku: Sumire jumping in surprise}

{sound f/x gashan: the window crashing}

Ramen Bowl: PRI~NCE~

{sound f/x kapa: the ramen bowl opening up}

A teeny, two inch tall old man pokes his head out from the bowl.

Old Man: No... nonono~ Damn it, I'm too late!

([pointing to Sumire] Dead white.)

Old Man: What did you do!! Where we come from, Planet Cup o' Noodle, pouring hot water is——— that is to say...!

{sound f/x sukon: whacking noise}

The old man's bowl is suddenly whacked away.

Old Man: Wa——~

Voice: SHADDUP, JI!

A young man with a large staff stands before Sumire.

Man: People who mess with others' love can be kicked by a horse and die.

Sumire: —————!?

{sound f/x ji: the man staring at Sumire}

Man: You're a cute Earthling! What's your name?

Sumire: ...Sumire. Shirafuji Sumire.

Man: Okay Sumire, I accept your proposal.

Sumire: HUH!?

The man draws close and kissed a shocked Sumire.

Man: It'll be an inter-galactic marriage.

Sumire: H-HUH~~~

{sound f/x dou: large whacking noise}

The old man's bowl suddenly whacks the young man under the chin, knocking him away from Sumire.

Old Man: IT WON'T HAPPEEE———N!

Man: That hurt, you.

Old Man: Listen to me. Prince, he's an alien. We cannot recognize that sort of marriage. On top of that, that child's a boy. No matter how much you hate women——

The man suddenly gives Sumire a big hug.

Man: But, he's the one who proposed to me. I have ta accept or I'd feel so bad for him! (And he's so cute—~)

Sumire: I didn't do anything like that~!

{sound f/x dogeshi: Sumire whacking the crap out of the man}

Sumire: What's with you two? (That was my first kiss~!) Someone explain to me what's going on~!

Old Man: Well then, with your permission, I shall——— We came to earth from Planet Cup o' Noodle from the far far away Andromeda Galazy. This person is the second Crown Prince of Cupland, Kanmen-sama. ["Kanmen" is a type of dried noodle. "-sama" is a very polite way of referring to someone, appropriate for an underling.]

Kanmen: (Call me Kan-chan!)

Sumire: [studying the Cup o' Noodle bowls] (So then, that's a space ship?)

Old Man: I am his caretaker, Ji Jiiya. [Both "Ji" and "Jiiya" are terms for "old man."] (It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.) Kanmen-sama is being forced to enter into a political marriage with a neighboring country. He was so against it that he ran away here.

Kanmen: It's too bad that I had to run away. I just want to be free to marry someone I've fallen for.

Ji: [whispering to Sumire] His fiancée, Princess Reimen, is pretty scary, and he's already started to look henpecked. ["Reimen" is a type of cold Chinese noodle.]

{sound f/x boso: Ji's hushed whisper}

Kanmen: YOU TALK TOO MUCH~

{sound f/x suka: whoosh sound of Kanmen missing}

{sound f/x batamu: Ji slamming his ramen bowl shut}

Kanmen: Don't worry about a thing. I've fallen for you, so I'll treasure you my whole life!

Sumire: AND HO—W DID THA—T HAPPE—N!?

{sound f/x wakuwaku: Kanmen being happy and excited}

Kanmen: You're the one who proposed to me, didn't you! You poured ho~~~t water all over my head and poof!

Ji: Females from Cup o' Noodle are the same size as Earthlings. Men are usually like me, in instant form. When it comes time to copulate, hot water is poured over us and we become life-sized.

Sumire suddenly blushes bright red, covering his face with his hands to stop his nose from bleeding.

Sumire: You said, copu...late...

{sound f/x tsutsu: blood trickling between Sumire's fingers}

Sumire: In other words, isn't that having sex...

Kanmen brightly races after his horrified "suitor."

Kanmen: OKAY, NOW MY HONEY—— LET'S GO TO BED!

Sumire: KYA~~~ I'M NOT GAY! NO WAY NO WAY MEN ARE ABSOLUTELY NO WAAAY

Kanmen: I won't let you run away, my little kitten~!

{sound f/x pushin: small poking sound}

{sound f/x fu~: swift draining noise}

Sumire: !?

From behind where Kanmen disappeared, Ji floats with a pin.

Ji: I drained him. You were going too far, Prince.

Kanmen: I WON'T FORGIVE YOU, YOU STUPID OLD FART~

On the ground in a puddle of water, a horribly cute 2-inch tall Kanmen shakes his fist angrily at Ji.

Kanmen: AND THINGS WRE GOING SO GOOD!

Sumire picks Kanmen up by pinching the back of his shirt between two fingers.

{sound f/x muka: Kanmen being irritated}

Kanmen: I don't like being picked up like that!

Sumire: You're... Kanmen...?

Kanmen: Ye... yeah. You gotta problem!?

{sound f/x nikkori: Sumire & Kanmen grinning at each other}

Kanmen: ?

The next day, two bowls of ramen find themselves in the trash.

Kanmen: YOU STUPID BASTARD LET ME OUT SUMIRE~! I won't be your bride anymore!

Kanmen breaks his way out of the trash bag, flying away with Ji right behind him.

Kanmen: DAMMIT!

Ji: (That's the Prince for you.)

Housewife: (Kya)

Kanmen: Bastard~ mocking me. U~~~

Ji: In the end, it's fate that you cannot be partnered with an Earthling. Do you finally understand this?

{sound f/x babyun: Kanmen rocketing off into space}

Ji: Prince~~

Kanmen: Still you'll never discourage me——~

As the two bowls fly off, a mysterious woman laughs triumphantly near the ripped trash bag.

Woman: At last, I've found you, Prince Kanmen! (HO— ho ho ho)

{sound f/x waan: flies buzzing around}

Housewife1: (What's with that person.)

Housewife2: (Gives me the creeps, looking at trash and laughing like that.)

Later on at school, Sumire thinks hard during his test.

{sound f/x kari: Sumire scratching his pencil on his paper}

Sumire: Maybe... I was a little too harsh with him. [gasp] Get a grip, the test, the test!

As Sumire looks back down to his paper, he suddenly notices Kanmen standing there, smiling.

Kanmen: Yo~

Sumire: !

{sound f/x sa: Sumire quickly snatching}

Sumire quickly snatches Kanmen off of his desk before anyone notices.

Sumire: (aha, ahahaha) What're you doing here~~~

Kanmen: Nice hello there, especially after your fiancé took all the trouble to come and see you.

Sumire: Who's a fiancé, you garbage~

Student: (Shirafuji...)

Sumire: Hurry up and get out of here! I'm in the middle of a test!

Kanmen: A test? These are pretty stupid looking questions. Here, lemme borrow that a second.

Kanmen snatches the pencil from Sumire and begins scribbling all over the page.

{sound f/x surasura: Kanmen writing smoothly}

Sumire: Ah... ah... he's answering these sorts of tough questions so easily...!

{sound f/x gakkushi: Sumire hanging his head in disappointment}

Sumire: ——but in Cup o' Noodlese. (I can't read it.)

Kanmen: (I can read Earthling languages, but can't write them.)

Teacher: What are you whispering about over here, Shirafuji.

Sumire doesn't notice the teacher behind him and continues talking to Kanmen.

Sumire: That's enough already, so just leave me alone!

Teacher: (Hm~~~) It's better manners to look at your teacher when you tell him to leave you alone.

Sumire: Stop following me around, you're in the way!

Kanmen: Now, now, don't get so mad, ‘cause we'll do fun stuff later on.

{sound f/x chu: kiss}

Kanmen tilts Sumire's head for a little teeny kiss.

{sound f/x kui: Kanmen turning Sumire's head with his staff}

Teacher: SHIRAFUJI~~~I

{sound f/x pon: the teacher putting his hand on Sumire's shoulder}

Sumire: YOU BIG PERVERT~

Kanmen flies from the school in his bowl. Sumire looks over and suddenly notices that in his anger, he punched out the teacher.

Sumire: Ah

Later that day, Sumire runs the track alone at school. The ramen bowls of Kanmen and Ji follow him.

Sumire: [pant pant puff puff]

Kanmen: If you've got enough energy to run around in circles over and over again, then do it with me.

Ji: Prince, this seems to be some sort of punishment.

Sumire: Shut up. Who's fault do you think this is?

{sound f/x pafu: Kanmen's bowl landing on Sumire's head}

Kanmen: Sorry ‘bout that.

Sumire: Don't just ride on people's heads when you feel like it~!

Student1: Shirafuji's finally...

Student2: Yup. He's breaking down...

Ji: (Look, 1, 2, 1, 2)

Kanmen: (1, 2, 1, 2)

Sumire: Will you stop shouting at me——— Why am I so...

{sound f/x jiwa: tears welling up in Sumire's eyes}

Sumire: un... miserable.

From high above, a mysterious woman clutches a stuffed panda bear to her chest and watches Sumire run in circles, trying not to sob.

Woman: Ufufufu

{sound f/x chichichi: ticking of a bomb}

Sumire finally starts sobbing.

Sumire: Kanmen, I... I HATE YOU! [sob sob] I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

(The Bishounen Sure-Fire Tears~!)

{sound f/x gaain: Kanmen freezing in horror}

Kanmen suddenly stops in mid-air, frozen in shock.

{sound f/x gaain}

{sound f/x gaain}

{sound f/x fuu: wind blowing by Kanmen blankly}

Ji: Prince, are you...

{sound f/x chichichi}

A stuffed panda bear suddenly falls from the sky, missing the now still Kanmen, but landing on Sumire's head.

{sound f/x gon: the bear landing with a clonk on Sumire's head}

Sumire: Ow~

{sound f/x chudoon: giant explosion}

Kanmen: SUMIRE~

{sound f/x ch': the mysterious woman's sound of frustration}

Student1: What happened?

Student2: Shirafuji exploded!

Later on, Sumire awakens to find himself in the school infirmary. A cute female doctor smiles at him.

Sumire: U———n

Woman: You came to~

Sumire: Where...

Woman: You're in the infirmary~ I was actually aiming my Panda Bomb for Kanmen——— It was a horrible accident, huh, Sumire-kun~ But still, well, you look like you'd be fun to tease~

Sumire: Huh?

Woman: Ah, no it's nothing! NO—W LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOU~

{sound f/x basa: rustling of the woman whipping off the sheet}

The woman whips the sheet off of Sumire, revealing him handcuffed to the bed.

Woman: (HO— hohoho)

Sumire: SENSEI——~ WHAT'S THIS!! ["Sensei" is a term for many occupations in Japan, including teacher, lawyer, and writer. In this case, it refers to a doctor.]

The woman snaps a whip in her hands.

Woman: You're the bait to lure the Prince out~ CRY OUT NICE FOR ME~~~~

{sound f/x wakuwaku: the woman giggling in excitement}

Woman: HERE I GO~

Sumire: AH———~

Voice: WAIT~!

The woman stops her whip in mid-swing and looks at the intruders in disappointment.

{sound f/x gakkari: the woman's disappointment}

Woman: Ala, too bad~ You got here already?

Kanmen and Ji float into the rooms in their flying ramen bowls.

Ji: (The Prince is truly courageous.)

Kanmen: I WON'T FORGIVE ANYONE WHO LAYS A HAND ON SUMIRE~!

The woman picks up Kanmen by the back of his shirt.

{sound f/x hyoi: the woman picking up Kanmen suddenly}

Kanmen: DON'T PICK ME UP~

Woman: Long time no see, Prince~

Kanmen: Yo... You!

Woman: I temporarily disguised myself as the dangerous infirmary Sensei, but really, I'm...

{sound f/x jakin: the woman's weapons glinting sharply}

The woman suddenly whips out large, glinty weapons and poses in her suddenly changed Chinesey dress. The tiny Kanmen falls out of her hands, onto the ground.

Woman: Princess Reimen's guard Zhasai~! [It's probably spelled wrong, but "Zhasai" is a Chinese soup.]

Ji: Prince—~

{sound f/x bishi: Zhasai posing sharply}

Zhasai: Your life. Kindly hand it over~ (U—m, gotcha~)

Zhasai suddenly blinks, looking around the room

Zhasai: Ah... Huh, where'd they go?

Sumire has been untied by Kanmen and Ji, and the three are walking from the room.

Kanmen: I won't fight morons.

{sound f/x zoro: the group leaving together}

Sumire: Let's go.

Zhasai: ! WAIT~

{sound f/x dan: Zhasai attacking Kanmen}

Zhasai's weapon pins Kanmen to the wall.

Zhasai: If I don't kill you, Princess Reimen will punish me~ If you'd please, Kanmen-sama. DIE DIE~

{sound f/x gui: Zhasai tightening the grip on her weapons}

Zhasai attacks Kanmen with her weapon.

Zhasai: DIIIE~

Zhasai's enthusiastic attack lands her through the wall.

Zhasai: KYA Stupid cheap walls~

Ji: You're just too strong.

Kanmen: Still, what's Reimen doing, handing me over to an assassin?

Zhasai picks up Kanmen in one fist.

Zhasai: She has great pride! Plus, she also feels more possessiveness than anyone else~

Kanmen: (Lemme go~)

Zhasai: She ordered me that she'd rather have you killed if you wouldn't become hers~ Hers isn't a lovely little womanly heart.

Kanmen: (That woman's sca~ry.)

Zhasai: In other words, I shall be taking your life now~

Zhasai begins squeezing as Sumire and Ji look on.

Sumire: Kanmen!

Ji: Prince~~~!

Kanmen: Ku... water... boil some water, Sumire——~

Sumire: But...

Ji: When this happens, there is no other way to save him but that! Please... Sumire-dono. ["-dono" is an extremely formal and somewhat archaic form of address.]

Sumire: I got it. I have to boil water, right, so I'll do it.

{sound f/x jaa: water pouring into a kettle}

{sound f/x jii: Sumire staring blankly at the kettle}

{sound f/x da: fierce fighting in the background}

In the background, Ji and Kanmen attempt to hold off Zhasai as Sumire starts heating a kettle.

Zhasai: Ah~ stupid midget~~

Ji: Prince~

{sound f/x shabo: the gas fire lighting up}

Sumire continues to stare at the kettle as the fighting continues.

{sound f/x iraira: Sumire staring at the kettle in irritation}

Ji (Noo~~)

{sound f/x bashi: Zhasai shaking Kanmen fiercely}

Sumire takes the top off of the kettle as the three continue fighting.

{sound f/x kapo: Sumire taking the top off of the kettle}

Sumire: (Is it ready yet——)

Zhasai: Ho~

Sumire: It's boiling~

{sound f/x pushu: steam boiling out of the kettle}

Sumire grabs the kettle for Kanmen.

Sumire: KANME—N!

Kanmen: RIGHT!

Sumire: [cough]

{sound f/x patan: Sumire shutting the top of the ramen bowl}

Ji: Now, we just have to wait 3 minutes.

Zhasai approaches with her whip and an evil smile.

Zhasai: 3 minutes is a long time, boy~

Sumire: Kya—~

{sound f/x bashi: whipping noise}

Sumire: Ow, Ow~

{sound f/x pashi: Zhasai whipping again}

Zhasai: E—h, move~ you're in the way, boy~

Sumire continues to protect Kanmen's ramen bowl throughout Zhasai's attack.

Sumire: Kanmen

{sound f/x bishi: whipping noise}

Sumire: Hurry... hurry out. Kanmen!

Kanmen: Sumire~

A fully grown Kanmen suddenly appears, cradling Sumire's body protectively.

Kanmen: You...! How dare you lay a hand on my Sumire~ Prepare yourself~

{sound f/x nita: Kanmen's evil smile}

Zhasai: (Ya—n, how cool~)

Zhasai continues blushing at Kanmen's coolness as he attacks.

Zhasai: (Ya—n...) KYAA~~

{sound f/x suton: Zhasai landing backwards}

Zhasai: You're as strong as I'd expect~

{sound f/x pashi: Kanmen grabbing Zhasai's leg}

Kanmen grabs Zhasai's ankle on the next kick.

Kanmen: This is the real way to trip someone up~

Zhasai: Aah~

Kanmen: Tell Reimen to be a little more ladylike.

Zhasai: Kya———~ Kya———~ Kya~~~~

{sound f/x babyun: Zhasai flying away}

Kanmen heaves Zhasai away, sending her flying into outer space.

Kanmen: Have HO~

Zhasai: I'LL REMEMBER THIS——~

Ji: (Those are still really classic manga sayings, aren't they.)

Sumire: (I haven't heard them in about 10 years, how embarrassing.)

Sumire turns back to Kanmen.

Sumire: Hey, Kanmen. I'm just saying this so there's no misunderstanding, but I did that just because you were in a tight spot...

Kanmen: I got it, I got it. [grin]

Sumire: (Did you really?)

Kanmen: I knew it, you love me~~ You proposed to me twice~ Oo— YOU'RE SO CUTE!

{sound f/x ba: Kanmen leaping merrily}

Kanmen leaps after his crying "suitor."

Sumire: YOU DON'T GET IT AT A—LL! Jiiya-san, say something!

Ji: You have a great heart that would risk your own life to shelter Kanmen-sama. I was so moved. (You're just the image of a faithful wife!) (Mm, mm) From now on, I offer you any possible assistance.

Sumire: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT~~~

And so the tale ends. But back on Planet Cup o' Noodle...

(An Extra from Cup o' Noodle)

Woman: [holding a large club angrily] (I won't give up!)

Zhasai: [beaten up in the background] (Reimen-sama is so strong~)

Part 1 | Part 2

Manga belongs to Higuri You, Asuka Comics, and Kadokawa Shoten, taken from the Raamen Ikaga!? manga, ISBN4-04-924708-9. Not like the story makes sense if you haven't read the manga anyway. Romanized and translated into English very badly by Mina-P, with desperately needed help, as always, by Mako-chan. Any comments or corrections can be mailed to Mina-P at Minako@senshigakuen.com.

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