Editor's comments and actions are denoted by [brackets]. Sound effects are written {like this}. (Parenthesis) indicate side notes in the dialogue bubble or the mangaka's note. And finally, italics are thoughts.
RAAMEN IKAGA!?
(How's About Ramen!?)
Aidoru o Nerae no Maki
(The "Aim to be an Idol" Story)
by Higuri You
Version 1.00, translated by:
Mina-P (E-mail Minako@senshigakuen.com)
There are a great many stars in this universe.
{sound f/x jan: dun}
22 million light years away from our Milky Way is the Andromeda Galaxy, an unknown life, an unknown civilization.
{sound f/x jan: dun}
You know, don't you? About the planet in this galaxy…!
{sound f/x jajan: du-dun}
The third planet, Andromeda Instant Way: CUP O' NOODLE
And that a certain alien is nearby!
A short diagram pops up on the screen, showing the steps as they're described.
HOW TO MAKE A PERFECT CUP O' NOODLE
1. Boil water.
{sound f/x npii: kettle whistling}
2. Open the lid.
{sound f/x pi: popping the lid open}
3. Pour in the hot water.
{sound f/x shobi: glug glug of water}
4. Close the lid.
{sound f/x pafun: shutting the lid}
Sumire nervously watches his Cup o' Noodle, a stopwatch in one hand.
Sumire: Wait---3 minutes…
{sound f/x kachi kachi: tick-tock of Sumire's stopwatch}
Sumire: 3 minutes---
{sound f/x gokun: gulp}
{sound f/x kachi: tick-tock}
Stopwatch: 2.30
Sumire: I won't run away.
{sound f/x shuu: smoke rising from the ramen bowl}
Stopwatch: 2.45
{sound f/x mukumuku: something stirring within the mist}
Sumire: [wincing] I won't run away. I WON'T RUN AWAY!
(By Ikari Shinji.) [The line that Sumire was repeating over and over again was "Nigecha dame." If you've seen Evangelion, this comment by Higuri-sensei is rip-roaring hysterical.]
Stopwatch: 2.59
{sound f/x su: a hand slowly covering Sumire's}
Sumire: !
Kanmen: Finally, you're in that kind of mood, Sumire~
Kanmen squeezes a blushing Sumire as he rises from the ramen bowl.
Kanmen: I've been waiting all this time for you to pour ho~t water all over me.
{sound f/x shuu: mist rising from the ramen bowl}
Sumire: Y'know, Kanmen, I've actually got favor to ask of you today. I'm Shirafuji Sumire, a really normal high schooler (16 years old).
{sound f/x shisshi: Sumire waving Kanmen away}
Kanmen: Well I know that! You want to spend one night of passion with me, don't you!
Sumire: He's the second Crown Prince of some place called Planet Cup o' Noodle in the Andromeda Galaxy. He was being used in a political marriage, but was so against it that now he's defected to Earth.
Kanmen: You're my fiance after all!
Sumire: The suffering in my really normal life started after I bought a Cup o' Noodle. These guys are normally mini sized, and their space ships look just like Cup o' Noodle bowls. Not knowing that, I poured hot water on my Cup o' Noodle like always...
Kanmen suddenly swoops in for a kiss.
Kanmen: Sumire, I love you~.
Sumire: WHICH MEANS I DIDN'T KNOW THAT POURING HOT WATER = PROPOSAL, DID I! Ggn... [making a fist]
{sound f/x bakkoi: giant whacking sound}
Ji: (Kids these days are so direct, aren't they?)
{sound f/x tere: Ji being embarassed}
Sumire: But since then, this stupid gay Prince who doesn't seem to understand a thing has glomped onto me.
Sumire pants with anger after punching Kanmen.
{sound f/x ze ze: Sumire panting}
Ji: (This is a big misunderstanding!)Aiya~~~ Prince, Prince~
{sound f/x kyuu: Kanmen reeling flat on the floor}
Suddenly, and rather randomly, something that looks rather like a sea urchin with googly eyes drops onto Sumire's head
{sound f/x goin: a bonking sound}
Sumire: AH~ ? (Did something hit me?)
Sumire turns to help Kanmen out with his wounds.
Sumire: Sorry about that, it was a reflex.
{sound f/x pui: Kanmen sniffing in anger}
Kanmen: [pouting] This is how you act when you ask for a favor?
Kanmen and Ji look at Sumire in surprise.
Kanmen: Bodyguard?
Ji: Has something happened, Sumire-dono?
Sumire: [worried] Yeah, kinda. It's just that lately, I feel like someone's been following me.
Kanmen: Well, yeah but you're so cute.
Ji: It sounds more like a stalker.
Sumire: I'm fine, cause I'm a guy and all. But, it just seems like really bad things are happening to girls who're around me.
Girl #1: Sumire-ku... WA-~
The girls walking after Sumire at school suddenly fall down a giant hole in the ground.
Girl #2: KYA-
At school, another girl offers a bento (boxed lunch) to Sumire.
Girl #3: Let's eat lunch together.
{sound f/x bom: giant explosion}
The bento goes off with a bang as the girl opens it. Back in the now, Sumire pulls a letter from his pocket.
{sound f/x kasa: rustling of paper}
Sumire: This here, it's a letter from the most beautiful girl in the entire school and the girl any guy would want, Doumyouji Sakurako-san. She said... she wants to meet me this Sunday. (M--m, even the letter smells good~) It would be horrible if something like that happened to Doumyouji-san, too. I want to be extra careful with her.
Kanmen glares at Sumire
Kanmen: !
Sumire: So, just for tomorrow's date. I'm begging you, Kanmen.
Kanmen: ----- And you're telling me because?
Sumire: Please, Kanmen~~~~
Kanmen: No.
Sumire: I'm begging you~~~~
Kanmen: No-o. [exploding] Why're you telling me stuff like this? You've really got some nerve--!
Sumire: --- [teary eyed]
Kanmen: You got it? That's enough. You can do something yourself. What. It's nothing to get all upset about.
Sumire goes storming off in anger.
Ji: Sumire-dono
{sound f/x pui: Sumire seething in anger}
Sumire: Kanmen, you stingy idiot!
Kanmen: Leave him alone, Ji.
Ji: [leaning in] But still, if you become Sumire-dono's so-called bodyguard, isn't it a wonderful excuse to watch Sumire?
{sound f/x piku: Kanmen perking up}
{sound f/x sa: figure suddenly peeking around the corner}
Around the corner, a suspiciously Reimen-shaped shadow lurks. Out on the town, a bunch of high school girls stare at the giant TV screen on the side of a building.
Girl #1: Hey, look look it's AKUSA! They're such a great group! [In case you didn't notice, this is a pun as the manga is published by "Asuka Comics." Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...]
Girl #2: They're really popular lately, aren't they. Their debut single sold 3 millions copies. (Amazing.)
On the screen is a 3 boy singing group... with a lead singer who could be Sumire's twin.
Girl #1: The tickets for the upcoming Momo Hall went platinum!
Girl #3: Wow, you really know them.
Girl #1: (Leave it up to me!)
{sound f/x sasasa: a strange guy sneaking past}
Girl #2: He-he-he, actually, I'm a huge Kiryuu Takara fan~!
The girls glare at the strange man sneaking past them wearing a mask, which has giant eyes and a mouth shaped in a permanent "oo" shape.
Girl #3: (What the heck's that?)
Girl #2: (Gives me the creeps, the freak.)
: Fu~fu~fu... They don't notice, they don't notice.
The guy whips off his mask to reveal none ofhte than Kiryuu Takara.
Takara: That I'm the mysterious AKUSA member Kiryuu Takara...
{sound f/x paaa: the scenery glittering behind Takara}
Takara suddenly sweatdrops and looks around... to see crowds of girls staring at him in shock.
{sound f/x ha: Takara gasping}
Takara flees at the girls dash after him.
{sound f/x kyaaaa: girls screaming}
{sound f/x dododo: thudding of running footsteps}
Takara: WA- DAMMIT!
Later, elsewhere, the masked Takara peeks around a corner.
Takara: N~... no good. I let them see my true self. And when I can see my goal right in front of me...
[pointing to Takara's mask] (He ran away in his Ho-Ho disguise.) [I assume this refers to the fact that the mask's mouth is "ho" or "oo" shaped. I don't know if this is the technical name for this mask; who knows.]
(Put this sentence in kanji [10 points]) [This refers to the fact that the line is almost entirely in hiragana. Can you put in the correct kanji?]
{sound f/x yoro: Takara staggering down the street}
Elsewhere, Sumire dashes down the street.
{sound f/x da: Sumire dashing}
Sumire: This is awful! Thanks to the late train, I completely missed the meeting time! I wonder if Doumyouji-san'll be mad at me.
{sound f/x tata: sound of footsteps}
Behind Sumire, Kanmen and Ji follow in "undercover" Blues Brothers-ish outfits.
[pointing to Kanmen] (It's supposed to be a bodyguard look.)
When Sumire turns around, Kanmen and Ji dash around the corner.
{sound f/x sasa: Kanmen and Ji ducking away}
Sumire smiles brilliantly at Kanmen.
Sumire: Thank you, Kanmen.
{sound f/x barebare: Kanmen getting his cover blown}
Sumire and his gang walk towards the meeting place. In the middle of the square is a Reimen-shaped statue. In front of the statue, Takara in a funny mask runs by.
Sumire: She said she'd be waiting right in front of the statue in the middle of the square. This it...! Uwa- weird statue.
[pointing to Kanmen, hat and jacket off] (Looks like he was really hot.)
Kanmen and Sumire stare at the statue, sweatdropping.
Kanmen: Doesn't it...
Sumire: Yeah...
Kanmen: It kinda reminds you of someone...
{sound f/x peki pishi: the statue cracking}
{sound f/x baki: pieces of metal falling to the ground}
Takara: !
Reimen suddenly leaps from the statue, heading towards a confused Takara with a giant mallet.
Reimen: It's a visit from the disguised Reimen! I won't forgive you for betraying Kan-sama!
Takara: !
Reimen: [leaping forward] Shirafumi Sumire~ I'LL PUNISH YOU~~! [This is a fun line. What she actually says in Japanese is "Oshioki yo" which many may know as the infamous ending line of Sailor Moon's "I'll punish you" speech.]
Kanmen: Reimen!
Reimen: Huh~
Reimen glances up, sweatdropping, and notices Kanmen and Sumire just as her mallet blow sends Takara flying away.
{sound f/x gan: Reimen's disappointment}
Reimen: (Ack) Wrong guy!?
Kanmen and Sumire stare back at Reimen, Sumire sweatdropping, Kanmen in confused shock.
Kanmen: Reimen, why are you...
As Takara flies through the air, a "Ketty-chan" PuriKura machine can be seen in the background. Takara waxes philosophic as he falls in slow motion. ["Ketty-chan" is a pun on "Kitty-chan", which is what everyone calls Sanrio's Hello Kitty in Japan. PuriKura are quite literally EVERYWHERE in Japan. "PuriKura" stands for "Print Club", and it's those little machines that you step into and get instant picture stickers taken with your friends. Only in Japan, there's a million of them, there's all sorts of cool options for backgrounds, borders, writing, etc., and they're literally the thing to do for young people when you go out. You simply HAVE to get a PuriKura; it's quite possibly the law.]
Takara: I didn't get to tell anyone, about my... dream... The Ketty-chan PuriKura is receding far away... And after I came all this way in secret...
A tear slips from Takara's eye as his body slowly arcs towards the hard earth.
Takara: Ahh... And I so wanted--- to take a picture with cute little Ketty-chan.
Takara and his mask hit the ground.
{sound f/x karo: empty rattle of the mask hitting the ground}
{sound f/x pata: Takara's hand flopping to the ground}
{sound f/x pa- po-: rhythmic breathing of an oxygen machine}
Running footsteps approach the hospital room door. A man in a suit comes flying in, followed by two younger guys.
{sound f/x tatata: running footsteps}
Man: TAKARA!
The man and the two young guys crowd around Takara's hospital bed as Kanmen and Sumire confront Reimen.
Kanmen: Reimen, what're you doing here!? Didn't you go back to outer space?
Man: Ahh~~~~ Why did this happen!?
Guy: Are you okay, Takara---~
Reimen: Bu~t... After Reimen finally... finally... gave Kan-sama over to Sumire... [sniffling sobbing] He's not looking after Kan-sama at all! He's going off with all of these girls...
Sumire: So that means that YOU were the stalker!
Reimen: [sticking her tongue out] Cause you're so dishonest! (Fake tears) What's that all about, just because you got a letter from that Doumyouji Sakurako girl, you come running like some stupid, perverted idiot!
Kanmen: ---- You sent off a fake letter, too?
Reimen: That's right~ I was hiding cause I thought that if he came I'd whack him a good one. [laughing] Happened just like I said, didn't it--- Shirafuji Sumire!
The older man, apparently Takara's manager, suddenly intrudes on the scene, tears streaming down his face.
Manager: Except that the one you hit was our Takara...
{sound f/x da: tears streaming down the manager's face}
{sound f/x ha: Reimen gasping}
Manager: He's bruised all over his body and they say that a complete recovery will take a month! Ahh~~~~ Why did this have to happen to us!
Sumire bows profusely, forcing Reimen's head down, too.
Reimen: But he really looked like you!
Sumire: (I'm sorry, I'm sorry.)
Manager: The concert that we've been dreaming of in Momo Hall is just 5 days away...! What in the world are we going to do~~~~ (Hm!)
The Manager suddenly whips around, staring at cute little Sumire.
(Wow, that's a dangerous expression!)
{sound f/x oro: the manager's shock}
Manager: They really do... look alike!
The manager circles Sumire, looking at him from all angles.
Sumire: ?
Manager: They look alike. They look alike!
{sound f/x sa sa: the manager quickly dashing around Sumire}
Kanmen: Hey, old man. Don't you be staring at Sumire like that. (*)
{sound f/x pon: the manager hitting his fist into the palm of his hand}
Manager: Right, that decides it. YOU! YOU'RE GOING TO APPEAR IN THE CONCERT IN KIRYUU TAKARA'S PLACE! OKAY!
Sumire jumps back in shock. The other two members of AKUSA stare at the manager.
AKUSA #1: Impossible, Manager! We've only got 5 days.
AKUSA #2: Right, right, you're not saying that some amateur is good enough to be Takara, are you?
Sumire: [sweatdropping] (Right, right, impossible, impossible)
Manager: So that means you're going to pay back damanges for the concert?
The manager suddenly grabs Sumire around the waist, ready to drag him off.
Manager: IF YOU CAN DO IT, YOU'LL DO IT, IF I CAN'T MAKE YOU DO IT, YOU WON'T DO IT, IT DOESN'T MATTER----! OKAY, YOU, FROM TODAY ON YOU'RE IN FOR A SECRET CRASH COURSE!
Sumire: Waa~
Kanmen: (Hey, I SAID keep your hands off of him!)
In a dance studio, Sumire tries to lean the new idol moves.
{sound f/x tan tan tan: the dance instuctor clapping}
Dance Instructor: Okay, and turn.
Sumire: Wa, um... I got twisted up.
{sound f/x kaku: Sumire losing his balance}
Dance Intructor: That's no good, Sumire-kun. Okay, one more time!
Sumire: (Is it like this, kinda?)
{sound f/x mota: Sumire going through the dance slowly}
AKUSA #1: We won't be able to use him at all, that guy.
AKUSA #2: I won't accept it! Using that to stand in for Takara! Besides, isn't it his fault that Takara got injured in the first place!
Manager: (Now now) Well, he's working really hard, too. Besides, you're the ones who'll be be in trouble if you have to cancel the concert. You should cooperate a little more.
The two AKUSA members smirk.
AKUSA #1: Cooperate--- huh.
Kanmen: Sumire... I wonder what he's doing.
{sound f/x peto: Kanmen's hand lying flat against something smooth}
Outside of the building where Sumire is practicing, clinging to one side, in fact, Kanmen shimmies along the windows, peering in at Sumire.
Ji: That's dangerous, Prince!
Kanmen: But that secretary lady wouldn't let me in, and I'm worried about Sumire. There he is, there he is!
Indeed Sumire is right inside of the window, wearing a strange contraption all over his body, connecting his joints with springs.
Sumire: [sweatdropping] Um-- This is really hard to move in...
AKUSA: Ah, that's something called an "Idol Training Gips." With it, even a beginnger can do a back handspring, no problem. Try it out.
Sumire: L...like this?
{sound f/x gi: squeaking of the springs}
{sound f/x pyon: sproing}
Sumire suddenly goes flying away.
Sumire: WAA~
AKUSA #2: [laughing] Wow! I've never seen anything like it!
{sound f/x keta: the two AKUSA members laughing loudly}
AKUSA #1: [laughing] You're awesome, Sumire-chan.
Kanmen: [seething] Those bastards...
Kanmen suddenly flings himself through the window.
{sound f/x gashi: breaking glass}
AKUSA #1: We're really working together now, aren't we? You need to pull yourself together... !
Sumire: Kanmen!
Kanmen grabs one AKUSA member by his shirt and starts laying into him.
Kanmen: You bastards, if you're gonna treat Sumire so badly, I'm just gonna have to give some back!
{sound f/x gashi: Sumire grabbing Kanmen}
Kanmen lets the other guy go in shock as Sumire holds him back.
Kanmen: Sumire?
Sumire: It's okay. ---I'm okay. Stop trying to protect me.
Kanmen: But they said all those things to you! This is just bullying. You aren't gonna do this if you have to go through all this stuff, right?
Sumire: I'm already along for the ride, and I don't want to get off half way...! If I'm going to do it, I'll do it all the way!
Kanmen: Sumire...
Sumire: Even though I said that, reality was pretty tough...
Different scenes flash by: Sumire learning the songs, Sumire dancing in front of a mirror, Sumire singing in front of a mic.
Voice Teacher: Right, one more time.
Sumire: (I've got to learn all of the songs in 3 days~~~~~)
AKUSA #1: (His feet are doing completely different things from ours.)
Sumire stumbles around the practice area with Kanmen behind him.
[pointing to Sumire] (Stayed up all night watching videos.)
{sound f/x fura: Sumire swaying}
{sound f/x batan: Sumire hitting the ground}
Kanmen: HEY~ SUMIRE!? WHAT HAPPENED!? SUMIRE-~
Sumire: Maybe I'll rest just a little bit----
Later on, Sumire rests on a couch, a damp cloth over his eyes. Kanmen leans over him and touches their foreheads together.
{sound f/x hita: Kanmen brushing hair out of Sumire's face}
Kanmen: Staying up until you collapse, working until you get wobbly. If I stop watching over you, something's gonna happen to you and the people you're working with!
Sumire silently pushes Kanmen's head away and turns his face.
{sound f/x su: Sumire's slow movements}
Sumire: You don't know why I decided to meet Doumyouji-san, do you. Why I asked you to be a bodyguard on my date!
Kanmen: Because you hate me? That much.
Sumire suddenly bursts up.
Sumire: ---It's the opposite, you I-DIOT! That's why I'm re---ally scared, if things end like this!
Kanmen: Sumire, you mean...
Blushing furiously, Sumire stalks off to practice.
Sumire: LESSON! (Ah, I'm busy, just so busy...)
{sound f/x ba~: Sumire quickly whipping around}
Sumire: I HAVE TO GO TO MY LESSON!
Kanmen: [smiling] This is the best---
Sumire: WA~
Kanmen: What is it, Sumire?
Sumire: There's a giant hole in the wall!
Sure enough, a large portion of the wall is gone. Through it, is stuck a basket... held by the arm of a giant robot.
{sound f/x gogogo: the robot looming through the wall}
Sumire: GYA~
{sound f/x nyuu: the metal arm coming forward}
[sign on the basket] (Gift for you. Good luck~)
Kanmen pops open the basket, finding it full of little things that look like sea urchins with eyes. He looks at them excitedly.
Kanmen: Wow, it's a Planet Cup o' Noodle delicacy, Bonboko Bagu! They're really expensive stuff!
Sumire: [sweatdropping] That UFO's Reimen!?
Kanmen: She feels really bad, so she can't show her face. For once, she's having pangs of conscience. (She can be cute, too.)
Sumire: [holding some prickly Bonboko Bagu] Right huh... (ow ow ow)
{sound f/x fun: the whir of Reimen's ship}
Reimen's spaceship flies away, as poor Japanese people run and scream.
Person: (WA--~)
Person: (Is it Independence Day~~~~)
Person: (It's a UFO~~)
Person: (KYA~~~~)
2 days before the concert-----
Sumire practices merrily with the rest of AKUSA.
Manager: You've really gotten the hang of it. You've really worked hard these three days.
Sumire: Manager-san!
AKUSA #1: [smiling] You've really got spunk. Changed the way I look at you.
{sound f/x paa: Sumire blushing happily}
Sumire: Sei-san.
AKUSA #2: He's not that good. If you compare him to Takara, there's just a huge difference. He's like an average preschooler!
Sei (AKUSA #1): That so--- I think he's doing pretty good. Hiro, you just really like Takara.
Hiro (AKUSA #2): AND YOU'RE A TRAITOR, SEI! We've been wanting to do a show at Momo Hall since we debuted!
Hiro begins crying as Sumire looks on, lost.
Hiro: I won't accept it.
{sound f/x waa: Hiro sobbing}
Hiro: I won't accept it like this---~
: The hard work piled up every day, painful, complicated feelings--- I really can't say anything. ---but Hiro-san. I know I'm not Takara-san, and I can't compare to him. But at this rate, the staff that came to have fun and the fans, too... it'll only end up being sad for them. Anyhow, rather then a sad ending, let's chose an ending full of possibilites. [smile] Okay?
Hiro: ----
{sound f/x pui: Hiro stalking away in anger}
Hiro: You're really stubborn, aren't you.
Sumire: [sweatdropping] (No good...)
Out on the street, people crowd around a store window watching the news.
Newscaster: "------ Today at dawn, there was an explosion at the concert for popular singer 'GREEN'. According to the investigation------"
Person: They say it was the Mad Bomber again. There've been a lot of them lately.
Person: Isn't he only aiming for popular singers' concerts. Isn't it what you call jealousy crimes!
Newscaster: "According to eyewitnesses, the criminal looks like this following police sketch. If anyone sees him---"
Also watching the newscast, Ji and Kanmen stand in front of the store.
Ji: This is quite troubling, isn't it. I wonder if Sumire-dono will be okay?
Kanmen: If that guy shows up, I'll go totally crazy on him.
The day of the concert in Momo Hall, Kanmen wanders through crowds of giggling fangirls, working his way backstage.
Kanmen: Uwa~ There're so many people. I got separated from Ji.
Man 1: Hey~ Who's that guy who's drinking on the job?
Man 2: Ahh, he's a staff member who just started up 2, 3 days ago. You can't do anything with him, he just sits around and drinks all day.
Drinker: [belch]
Man 1: They should fire that guy.
Kanmen pushes his way backstage, walking past the drinking worker.
Kanmen: Sumire-- Sumire--~
Sumire: (Shh~) Don't call me that! What do you want, Kanmen?
Drinker: I finally found you, Prince Kanmen...
Kanmen: W...ow~
Drinker: I'm terribly sorry about this, but today will be your last! You must resign yourself to the fate of being born into the Cup Royalty! [As a quick sight gag, he's drinking a bottle "Bishounen" or "Pretty Boy" brand liquor.]
Sumire blushes, pulling his plaid, Johnny's idol outfit around himself.
Sumire: Wh... what. Don't stare at me like that. It's embarrassing!
{sound f/x kyuu: Sumire clutching at his jacket}
Kanmen in SD-doggie form jumps on Sumire's leg.
([pointing to Kanmen] A dog in heat.)
Puppy Kanmen: [pant pant pant pant]
Sumire: [blushing] I'LL POKE YOU~! (I've got a needle and I know how to use it!)
Ji suddenly flies forward, scaring the people working backstage.
Ji: KANMEN-SAMA! IT'S HORRIBLE!
Man: W... what's that!?
{sound f/x hiya: another worker jumping back in fear}
Sumire suddenly crushes both Kanmen and Ji against a wall, "hiding" them behind his back.
{sound f/x gyumu: Kanmen getting smooshed}
Kanmen: Zumide!? [This is Kanmen saying "Sumire" while being crushed.]
Sumire: I...IT'S NOTHING, NADA! THAT WAS NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL! I'm going to step outside for a bit of fresh air! You guys, too!
{sound f/x hyun: Kanmen and Ji getting yanked outside}
Man 1: (What was that?)
Man 2: (Who knows.)
Man 1: (UFO?)
Outside, the three get down to business.
Sumire: Huh... the Mad Bomber!?
Ji: I just saw him by the entrance. And Ji's eyes never lie to him.
Kanmen: All right, show me the way, Ji! I'll go check it out.
Sumire: Kanmen!
Kanmen: [smile] Don't worry about a thing, Sumire. Leave your safety up to me. I can at least do that! And if things fall apart, I'll pull it all together.
Sumire: At that time, I felt a touch of anxiety---
Kanmen suddenly slips and goes flying.
Kanmen: (UWA---~ Who put this banana peel here!?)
{sound f/x tsuru: Kanmen slipping away}
Sumire: (What's this~!? This punch line...) But, what was I anxious about--
Elsewhere, the Mad Bomber opens a door backstage.
Kanmen: Hold it right there, old man. Sorry, but would you mind showing your face?
{sound f/x bikun: the Mad Bomber jumping in surprise}
The Mad Bomber suddenly spins around, chucking his toolbox at Kanmen.
{sound f/x ba: the toolbox flying at Kanmen}
Kanmen: YOU BASTARD---~ Don't you underestimate Kanmen-sama!
Kanmen pulls out a teeny two-inch long stick... which suddenly extends several feet, knocking the Mad Bomber over.
Kanmen: NYOIBO ATTA---CK [A "nyoibo" is apparently a bo stick that you can manipulate any way you want.]
Mad Bomber: WAA~
Kanmen: WHAT'D YOU SAY!? THE DETONATOR IS ON THE STAGE!?
Kanmen runs away, leaving Ji and the Mad Bomber, tied up and beat up.
([pointing to the Mad Bomber] He looks somewhat beat up.)
Kanmen: I'm counting on you! Ji!
Ji: Please hurry, Kanmen-sama! I will stay here and watch him! I will be praying for your brave fight!
Kanmen: A detonator for the bomb set up where they enter Momo Hall, that's only one place. They'll push the switch to activate the lift, and after that----
A security guard stops Kanmen backstage.
Security Guard: Hey hey, only people involved in the show can get past here.
Kanmen: This ain't the time to be saying stuff like that! There's a bomb on-stage! No time, just get outta my way!
Security Guard: Bomb! Ha-ha-ha, that's a good one!
Manager: Ahh, it's you!
Kanmen: Ah, Manager-san! There's a detonator on the lift! We have to hurry and get the everyone out of here!
Manager: Hey, you, please stop saying such dangerous things at a time like this. I know that you're worried about Sumire-kun, but, even if it's a joke, if you panic all of the fans, it'll be chaos.
Kanmen: Please believe me, really...
{sound f/x ga: a hand landing on Kanmen's shoulder}
Kanmen is uncerimoniously dragged away by another security guard.
Kanmen: PUT ME~ LET GO~ LET GO OF ME~
Manager: [waving a hankie] (Go ahead and watch us from the audience-~)
Kanmen: I SAID, THERE'S NO TIME! (---Dammit, I've gotta find a way to force them...!)
Guard: Please be quiet--- Prince.
Kanmen: ! You're--- Not from Earth!
Guard: I am Sake Nomeru from the assassin planet Inshu. I'm here to take your life! [As you can imagine, his name is a pun. "Inshu" is the Japanese word for alchohol of all kinds. "Sake" is a kind of alchoholic drink, but can also refer to anything alchoholic in general. "Nomeru" literally means "can drink." I thought about calling him "Ima Drinken from planet Booze", but thankfully decided against it.]
Kanmen: Bastard!
{sound f/x ga: Kanmen striking out at Sake}
{sound f/x ba: Sake leaping away from Kanmen's kick}
{sound f/x sa: Sake grabbing something in his trenchcoat pocket}
Sake begins shaking a small canister, sending spikes flying.
{sound f/x jako: the spikes rattling in the canister}
Sake: Secret move: "A Man is a Silent Bartender---"
Kanmen: ! UWAA~~
{sound f/x bashu: the spikes striking Kanmen}
{sound f/x shuu: steam rising from Kanmen's body}
The water leaks from Kanmen, leaving him pinned to the wall in teeny, dehydrated form.
Sake: How inconvenient, isn't it. When you take the water out of men from Planet Cup o' Noodle, they become so small. This way, there's no way that you can win, is there.
Kanmen: Why're you hunting me down, anyway? I'm not ever gonna return home again!
Sake: There are some other troublesome members of your royal blood, you know. It's how my planet makes a living.
{sound f/x kui: Sake taking a glug from his flask}
Sake: We've had enough talk; it's time for you to die! Please don't worry yourself. I'll make it quick and painless as possible.
Sake suddenly begins shooting fireballs from his mouth
Sake: THE SECRET FLAME, SHOTGUN
{sound f/x shubobobo: balls of fire shooting from Sake's mouth}
Kanmen: (Uwa, I don't wanna die in such a weird way--) SUMIRE!
Meanwhile, the audience of Momo Hall screams for AKUSA.
Manager: Good luck!
Sumire: Thanks! Hiro-san...
{sound f/x pui: Hiro turning away in anger}
Sumire sighs. A light comes up on the three, smiling on stage as AKUSA.
{sound f/x paa: bright light}
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is "AKUSA"!
The AKUSA song starts up.
MY-STE-RY!
This is "hello"
Your smile gets my heart pounding
{sound f/x kyaa: fangirls screaming}
Sumire: The concert's started, so where is he!?
This is "hello"
All around us, lights have started to glow
Sumire: I wonder what happened with the Mad Bomber? No way, something didn't happen to you---!?
{sound f/x shuu: steam rising}
I'm thinking--- I'm thinking
About you all the time
Back with Kanmen, Reimen stands protectively in front of Kanmen's trapped body, a hose in one hand, a shield taking the brunt of the fireballs in the other.
Kanmen: Reimen!?
{sound f/x boro: the shield falling apart in chunks}
Reimen: Yaan!
Sake: (Huuh~) I won't let you interfere, even if you are a woman!
{sound f/x bowa: fire flying from Sake's mouth again}
Sake: SHOTGUN
Reimen: [smirk] Here's my chance!
Kanmen: Huh!?
Reimen suddenly turns the hose on Kanmen, hitting him at the same time as the Shotgun attack.
Kanmen: WAAAA
Reimen: Now, Kan-sama~
Kanmen: I get it! Flame plus cold water from the hose equals---
I don't believe
In the red string of fate, but
MY-STE-RY!
Thinking of you, even that
Makes me think it's the truth
Kanmen: [flailing in the stream of water] BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST POUR HOT WATER ON ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Reimen: [yawning] Too much trouble. Besides, you don't want anyone other than Sumire proposing to you, do you?
Kanmen: Reimen...!
Thinking of you,
Kanmen: Thank you!
{sound f/x shu: Kanmen's nyoibo sliding open}
Kanmen: I failed before, but I've got no time, let me get this over with quick.
Even that makes me think it's the truth
Manager: Hurry, hurry! Next, Sumire-kun's going to ride the trapdoor up. Change your clothes!
{sound f/x bata: cloth rustling}
Reimen claps as Kanmen rushes away from the unconcious Sake. Meanwhile, Sumire steps up onto the trapdoor.
Reimen: (Yea~y, good job~!)
{sound f/x da: Kanmen dashing off}
Manager: (Are you okay?)
Sumire: (Uwa- it's shaking.)
Kanmen: Please Sumire, let me be in time...!
{sound f/x pachin: a button getting pressed}
Voice: It's going up, Sumire-kun.
Kanmen: Too late...! STOP HIM-~
Sumire: Kanmen...
Workers backstage try to stop Kanmen from rushing in.
Worker 1: What're you doing? Stop this!
Kanmen: LET ME GO!
Worker 2: Seize him!
Kanmen: There's a detonator at the top of the lift!
Workers: HUH~!
The lift suddenly springs to life.
{sound f/x gogogo: the lift chugging upwards}
Sumire: WA~ WA~ WA~ WA~
Manager: Turn the lift off!
Worker: T...the switch, it's broken...
Kanmen: Dammit~ Damn careful Mad Bomber!
Kanmen leaps onto the edge of lift.
{sound f/x gan: Kanmen grabbing on}
Sumire: Kanmen!?
Sei: Don't just stand around! We've got to help push that thing down!
Workers: R...right!
Sei and many of the backstage workers leap onto the edge of the lift.
{sound f/x gakon: loud scraping lurch of the lift}
Worker: !
Hiro: This sort of concert had better be crushed.
Voice: WE NEED MORE WEIGHT! IT'S STILL RISING UP~!
Hiro: This sort of...!
{sound f/x ga: Hiro grabbing onto the edge of the lift}
Sei: Hiro!
Hiro: It's our first time in Momo Hall...! It won't be funny if people get hurt!
Sei: ---Hiro...
{sound f/x gakon}
Voice: NO GOOD~~~ WA---~ THE LIFT'S GOING UP!
Fangirl: Wha--t's going on-? Huh-- did something happen?
Fangirl: No one's coming out.
Kanmen finally climbs onto the lift with Sumire.
Sumire: Kanmen.
Kanmen: Heh-heh~ I got on~
Sumire: Since it's a detonator, I don't know if anything's going to happen, but the device itself might detonate!
Kamen: So what!? [grinning] I'm not about to let Sumire face something so dangerous by himself.
The two stare into each other's eyes, hands clasped.
Sumire: Kanmen.
Kanmen: Sumire.
Voice: [barely holding onto the lift] THIS ISN'T THE TIME FOR THAT~~~~
Sumire: WA---~ RIGHT!
Kanmen: Can't be helped, we'll have to rip it off all at once.
Near the top of the lift, Kanmen and Sumire get their hands on a metal box, duct taped to the stage. Below them, everyone backstage has falled off of the lift and stares at them in anticipation.
{sound f/x gakon}
{sound f/x gakon}
Kanmen: Let's go, Sumire. Together, even in death.
{sound f/x bari: giant ripping noise}
Kanmen: !
{sound f/x basa: rustle as Kanmen and Sumire hit the floor}
Workers: !
The duct tape on the metal box gives, sending Kanmen and Sumire flying backwards. The people backstage wince, as Kanmen and Sumire hold onto each other, doing the same onstage. However, nothing happens
Sumire: We... WE DID IT!
{sound f/x gakon}
{sound f/x gakon}
The fangirls stare in shock at the scene onstage, as Sumire hugs Kanmen, and Kanmen kisses him back.
Sumire: [blushing] Kanmen...
Kanmen: Mm---
Fangirls: (KYAAAAAAAAAAAA~)
Sumire: At long last, that day's concert came to its terrible conclusion---
Various newspaper articles can be seen, with headlines reading "A Passionate Kiss with a Mystery Man" and "Super Hot Picture: Really Gay!? AKUSA's Kiryuu Takara". Back in the hospital, Sei, Hiro, and the AKUSA Manager try to cheer up a shocked Takara.
{sound f/x buku: bubbling over in shock}
Manager: Ah---~ Takara-kun.
Sei: Maybe it'll make us more popular-?
Kanmen: Hey, Sumire, why'd you take the water out of me? Let's pick up where we left off---
Sumire: NO WAY, ABSOLUTELY NOT. And just like that, my daily suffering continued. But maybe I changed my opinion of this troublesome alien just a little bit.
Kanmen: Sumire-~
Sumire: NO WA-Y.
Part 2 | Part 3
Manga belongs to Higuri You, Asuka Comics, and Kadokawa Shoten, taken from the Raamen Ikaga!? manga, ISBN4-04-924708-9. Not like the story makes sense if you haven't read the manga anyway. Romanized and translated into English very badly by Mina-P, with desperately needed help, as always, by Mako-chan. Any comments or corrections can be mailed to Mina-P at Minako@senshigakuen.com.